This page is specially for all the Joker's Club members who enjoyed
all those crazy issues of the Joker's Club News Letters. Hope to keep the flame
of laughter in each and everyone of you burning bright so that we can share
the joy of being happy with those poor unfortunate people who are suffering around us....
February
1998
Floral Tribute
A man ordered an elaborate bouquet for a friend who had just
opened a nre office. Visiting the office he found a wreath, with a
ribbon that said "rest in peace".
In a rage he went back to the florist, who said, "All right, all
right, so I made a mistake. But it is not THAT bad. Just think,
someone in this city was burried today with a
bouquet that said, Good Luck in your new location"
Longest English Word
The longest word in the English language is the one following the phrase,
"And now, a word from our sponsor"
January 1998
Academic Procession
I'm in favour of a good education but is does not have its drawbacks.
When I was in grade school, I was told if I wanted to get a good job, Ihad to
graduate from high school. So I went to high school. When I was in high school,
I was told that if I wanted to get a good job, I had to go to college. So I went to college.
When I was about to graduate, I was told everybody had a bachelor's degree;
to get a really good job, I had to get a master's degree. So I got my master's.
Then I was told that a master's would take me only so far and I should get a
doctorate. So I got a doctorate and went out for a job.
I was told they were looking for younger men.
The Shit List
Cling-On Shit - When you go to wipe, it's already been there waiting
Lincoln Log Shit - Shit that is so huge that you are afraid to flush the toilet without
breaking the shit up into little pieces with the toilet brush.
Drinker's Shit - The kind of shit you have in the morning after a long night of drinking
It's most notable trait is the tread mark left on the bottom of the toilet bowl.
Blow Out Shit - Preceded by a fart so dynamic that you check the toilet bowl afterwards
for cracks.
"I Wish I Could Shit" - Where you want to shit but all you do is sit on the bowl,
cramped and farting a few times.
Double Flush Shit - Because of the crumbs.
Spinal Tab Shit - This Kind where it hurts so much that you'd swear
it was coming out sideways.
Power Dump Shit - The kind that comes out of your ass so fast
that your ass gets splashed with toilet water.
Exorcist Shit - The Kind where yellowish-brown liquid shoots out of your ass,
splatters all over the inside of the toilet while the whole time burning your tender ass.
Mexican Food Shit - Defies real description. Must be experienced.
Peek-A-Boo Shit - Shit that comes halfway out then goes back in , halfway out
and goes back in ... etc etc
Run for Cover Shit - The kind that smells do bad you have to pull your
shirt collar over your nose while you shit.
Spray Paint Shit - Liquid shit high pressure gas spray out painting the
toilet form the edge of the rim down to the water.
Ghost Shit - This is the kind you feel the shit come out, have the shit on
the toilet paper, but there is no shit in the toilet
Wet Shit - The kind where you wipe your ass 50 times and it still feels unwiped.
So you have to put some toilet paper between your ass and your underwear
so you don't ruin them with skid marks.
